“The only unnatural sexual act is that which you cannot perform.” – Alfred Kinsey

Since puberty, I’ve always attracted those that would be considered ‘freaks’ in polite company. Not, like, sideshow, but those with limited sexual boundaries.

My first love was one such person. I fell hard and fast for the smooth-talking, talk, dark and handsome Salvadorean I met on public transportation. I was young, dumb and… well, you get the gist. It wasn’t until much, much later – after we had already broken up, gotten back together, broken up and became friends with benefits – that I discovered just how much of a freak he was. Suffice it to say, his proclivities ended up landing him in jail. That’s the last I’ve heard of him.

At any rate, he was my first taste of all that sex has to offer, and that was only dipping a toe into the pool. Our sex life was relatively short, and absolutely tame by today’s standards, but I was immediately hooked. A freak was born.

“Open relationships can give you the freedom to create unique relationships, explore yourself and your sexuality, and challenge society’s expectations.” – Tristan Taormino

For most of my life, I have had an open and curious attitude towards sex.

Having been partially raised by my old-fashioned grandmother, I was taught that a healthy, functional, sexual relationship could only look one way : two adults – one male and one female – that were, preferably, married. To that younger, more naive version of me, there was no room for substitutions.

The first inkling that I had no idea of the number of sexual options at my disposal was my accidental discovery of my parents’ porn stash. I literally could not believe that people actually did some of the stuff I saw. But I was knee-high to a grasshopper, so what did I know? Answer = NOTHING. Suddenly, I had reason to question what, exactly, a sexual relationship could be.

The second indication I stumbled upon of sexual relationships that existed outside of the ‘norm’ was an accidental (I know, I know, but I was an inquisitive child) glimpse into my parents’… extracurricular activities. Just in case you are wondering, yes, I grimaced as I wrote that.

The last thing that really opened the door to the concept of open relationships for me was realizing that my parents had ‘special friends’. I’m sure that, at the time, I was still of an age where my parents thought I was clueless. But I wasn’t.

As I got older, these early discoveries would end up playing an integral part of my sexual development, and ultimately, shape my preferences in bed.